Codependency in the workplace is an issue that general employees and managers need to be aware of. The definition of codependency according to Psychology Today is; imbalance in a relationship, where one person sacrifices their own needs and well-being for the sake of the other. It is often a matter of communication between two (or more) individuals, where the "victim behavior" is used to justify, or correct the damaging behavior of the other individual. Said damaging behavior can range from showing immaturity, irresponsibility, underachievement, or simply clear signs of incompetence at work.
Possible signs of codependency in the workplace
On Positive Psychology's website, it is explained how to recognize the signs of codependency, and it focuses on the victim mentality that the codependent person shows. For example, there is a mention of behavior such as:
- The person focuses on possible mistakes
- The person has a need to help other people
- The person has a hard time saying no
In general, a codependent individual is a helpful, and hard-working person that any employer would be most happy to have on their staff. But there are also nuances to the codependent individuals that needs to be looked out for, such as:
- The person finds it difficult to express their needs or wishes regarding tasks/situations
- The person denies their own needs, thoughts and feelings in order to please others
Codependent individuals who are unable to set clear boundaries are at risk of being drawn into carrying out the duties and tasks of others, simply because of their helpfulness and ambition.
One sign of a possible codependent relationship is clear signs of an imbalance of power between the individuals. The codependent person who engages in sacrificial behavior sacrifices their own job satisfaction and often career advancement in order to support the other person. The person who receives the sacrificial behavior, is then often the one who receives the reward for a job well done by the codependent person.
Codependency between colleagues often manifests itself in such a way that one (or more) members of the team are carrying out more tasks, and spend more time on work than another member, who seems to be simply floating with others within the team. This often creates a dysfunctional work environment where staff describe inequality and high stress, and is factor in building a negative morale within the team.
Codependency and incompetent managers
When the relationship between a manager and their team shows signs of codependency, there is a risk the codependent behavior will starts to spread to nearby teams and start to have a big impact for the entire organization. The negative morale of the codependent team is often indicative of the atmosphere of the workplace in general, and is often the first sign of a negative workplace culture forming. It is important to keep in mind that general staff often perceive themselves in a position where they have no choice but to be codependent with their immediate manager, or otherwise face termination due to vindictiveness by the manager, or from lack of projects coming their way or as a result from the manager's incompetence .
When employees sense that they are stuck in codependent situations, behavior problems within the team will arise that can be directly attributed to the situation, such as:
- Low self-esteem
- Depression
- Stress
- Anxiety
Other behavioral problems will appear in the codependent team, such as violent behavior between colleagues that is not addressed within the team, low ambition, "not my job" becomes the mantra of the team, and the team members start to show avoidance from the workplace due to circumstances without fully addressing why. However, due the codependency the team has for their incompetent manager, staff turnover within the codependent team is low, while surrounding teams show higher turnover unexplainable turnover rates.
Tackling codependency in the workplace
Employees in general put a lot of effort into their work and are very ambitious in completing tasks and projects in the most efficient and cost-effective way. Therefore, employees often get sucked into showing codependent in order to maintain their high standard of work ethics, loyalty to the employer, and ambition for their own work. In order for this not to happen, it is important that employees know the signs of codependency in the workplace.
If there is suspicion that a team is being driven towards codependency by an incompetent manager, it is important for other members of the staff to understand the requirements of their job and their job descriptions, and set clear boundaries towards the codependent team, as the demand for codependency will filter out to nearby teams. If you yourself suspect that you are in a codependent team, it is important to recognize your own problematic behavior and gradually address it.
It is important to provide support to teams that are suspected of being entwined into a codependent situation with an incompetent manager. The codependent individuals are often burdened with increasingly high workload, and their previously good work ethic could after being subject to forced codependency with their incompetent manager be depleted due to the circumstances. It is also difficult for individuals to break out of the habit of showing codependent behavior, and therefore a lot of effort lies ahead for the codependent individuals to both work under difficult conditions and engage in intense self-work to tackle their own problematic behavior.
When there is a suspicion of a negative morale and workplace culture due to codependency in the workplace, it is important to report this to the human resources department, who can help the codependent individuals to deal with the situation as well as their own behavior, as well as support all staff affected by the incompetent manager both now and in the future.
Article first appeared as a review on cisir.is 27.02.2023[link]. Interview with Dagmál 07.03.2023 [link, link, link].